When you start off trying something new it is exciting up until the point you realise you kinda suck. Then you start to wonder if you will ever be any good – or you quit. And sometimes, you do both.

Let’s face it – most people quit after starting something new. That is one of the reasons why there aren’t many good people around. BJJ is a great example. Out of 10 people that start, 1 person stays, out of 10 of those,only 1 will get to purple belt and only a few of those will ever get their black belt. This isn’t just because they are lazy, life gets in the way for a lot of people and as they get older, they get busier. Let’s look, though, at the people who quit because they think that they suck.

We have all sucked at something. Well, most things. That is why we practice getting better. It just turns out that in fighting, getting things wrong hurts a lot more than learning Italian. When you have an ego, it can be difficult dealing with defeat on a regular basis. In the fight world we get beaten by smaller, weaker people and they not only beat you; they make it look easy.

After this initial beating you fall into one of two groups. First group: “I am getting my ass kicked, I hate it and I quit.” Second group: “I am getting my ass kicked, I hate it and I must learn how to do this.” People who fall in group one will find themselves quitting at a lot of things or not even trying things as whenever anything gets hard, they stop. The saying “how you do anything is how you do everything” is very applicable here. If you quit when things get tough in training, this will happen all through your life.

The good news is this happens in reverse if you are willing to learn and give things a go then this flows on through your choices in life as well. The people who tend to quit quite often view people who don’t quit as lucky, as in it is not hard work or training that gets them through but just plain luck.

The turning point for most people with training, when they know that they suck but have decided to continue, is when someone new comes to training and they can beat them. Not only can they beat them, they find that this new person makes mistakes and they are not in danger against them. This gives them a new dose of confidence so they make the most of it and win as much and as often as they can against the new person.

This starts the cycle again for the new person, who finds out they suck and undergoes the same dilemma in their head – quit or stick with it. The person that has just found out that their training has paid off now thinks that they are a badass and all should watch out. That is until the next round when they go against someone better and the status quo is maintained.

For me, personally, I have had this with a new class that I started doing – adult gymnastics. I have never done gymnastics in my life and starting it at 40 seemed the logical thing to do. However, I have gotten better and can now do things that seemed impossible when I started. This increased my confidence but was brought down a bit to see my new skills being used as a warm-up by the 10-year-old class.

Yes, nothing says you suck quite like 10-year-olds warming up with your best skill. But not many of us are going to be world champions and as they say, a black belt is just a white belt that didn’t quit. Those people who do not quit will get skills and be better than those that do quit, that is guaranteed. There is no such thing as luck in this regard. 99% of the time the person that can out strike you, out wrestle you, tap you out, who has a different coloured belt has done more hours and trained harder than you.

When do you know you’re getting better? The mere act of turning up to training means that you are. The more you turn up, the more you improve. Yes, talent is a factor, and everyone has their own natural abilities and tendencies, but that aside it is all down to effort and hours to improve. Don’t look anywhere else or try to blame this and that, if you want to get better, it is all effort and hours – simple as that.

Gareth Lewis

Head MMA Instructor

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Gareth Lewis is the owner and head MMA instructor of Lockdown MMA in Wellington. He writes a weekly blog on his website www.lockdown.co.nz. You can follow Lockdown MMA on Facebook.

If you live in Wellington and want to learn from an experienced MMA coach, head to Lockdown MMA on Tuesdays and Thursdays, 6:30pm til 8:30pm.